Choices

Slice of Life Challenge - Day 13 - hosted by Two Writing Teachers

We all make decisions in life.  We make our choices based on a variety of things.  Sometimes they are easy and sometimes they are not.  Sometimes they are insignificant, such as what color of socks to wear, but sometimes they are life-changing.  Sometimes our choices mean that we miss out on something important.

I made the choice to go to visit a close friend instead of spending the weekend at home.  I chose to travel to her new house and spend some time in her new world.  I chose to miss out on spending time with my own family.  It wasn’t an easy choice, but I chose based on the fact that I thought there would be many more weekends to enjoy my family and not as many times to visit my who now lived two hours away from me.

It’s a choice I will forever regret.  Not because I didn’t have a nice visit with my friend, but because I missed out on something much bigger.  Of course, as often happens, I could never have known what would happen.  I could never have anticipated that I’d never see her chubby little cheeks alive again.

You never imagine that a precious young girl, a baby really, at two years old, will be taken from your life.  You never dream that making a simple choice will mean a huge regret to shoulder forever.  As a young twenty-something, death is for old people, drug addicts and people you don’t know.  It’s not for spunky young girls with big blue eyes and a smile that could wrap you around her finger in mere seconds.

No, it’s not fair.  It’s not fair that I missed her last days.  It’s not fair that the car crossed the center line.  It’s not fair that her brothers lost their baby sister.  It’s not fair that I lost my beautiful niece.  It’s not fair that my sister lost her baby girl.  Sometimes life is not fair.

People say everything happens for a reason.  I have said it.  Most days I believe it.  Life has shown me enough by now to believe it.  I choose to believe that the reason she is gone is a big, important one.  I choose to believe that God had a very important job and needed a special helper to carry it out.  What other reason could there be?  There is no other reason that brings me comfort like that one, so I choose it.  I make the decision to believe that God needed a very special angel and someday I will understand why...but I don't have to like it.