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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Choices

Slice of Life Challenge - Day 13 - hosted by Two Writing Teachers

We all make decisions in life.  We make our choices based on a variety of things.  Sometimes they are easy and sometimes they are not.  Sometimes they are insignificant, such as what color of socks to wear, but sometimes they are life-changing.  Sometimes our choices mean that we miss out on something important.
I made the choice to go to visit a close friend instead of spending the weekend at home.  I chose to travel to her new house and spend some time in her new world.  I chose to miss out on spending time with my own family.  It wasn’t an easy choice, but I chose based on the fact that I thought there would be many more weekends to enjoy my family and not as many times to visit my who now lived two hours away from me.
It’s a choice I will forever regret.  Not because I didn’t have a nice visit with my friend, but because I missed out on something much bigger.  Of course, as often happens, I could never have known what would happen.  I could never have anticipated that I’d never see her chubby little cheeks alive again.
You never imagine that a precious young girl, a baby really, at two years old, will be taken from your life.  You never dream that making a simple choice will mean a huge regret to shoulder forever.  As a young twenty-something, death is for old people, drug addicts and people you don’t know.  It’s not for spunky young girls with big blue eyes and a smile that could wrap you around her finger in mere seconds.
No, it’s not fair.  It’s not fair that I missed her last days.  It’s not fair that the car crossed the center line.  It’s not fair that her brothers lost their baby sister.  It’s not fair that I lost my beautiful niece.  It’s not fair that my sister lost her baby girl.  Sometimes life is not fair.
People say everything happens for a reason.  I have said it.  Most days I believe it.  Life has shown me enough by now to believe it.  I choose to believe that the reason she is gone is a big, important one.  I choose to believe that God had a very important job and needed a special helper to carry it out.  What other reason could there be?  There is no other reason that brings me comfort like that one, so I choose it.  I make the decision to believe that God needed a very special angel and someday I will understand why...but I don't have to like it.

5 comments:

  1. Robin, oh my, what can I say? I am so sorry for your loss. I wish we knew what was ahead when we make choices. My heart breaks for your family in this incredibly sad time. Thank you for sharing today.

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  2. Robin, I'm so sorry for your loss and for your family. What a devastating loss. I will be thinking and praying for all of you.

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  3. What a heart-breaking loss. I am so sorry for you and your family.

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  4. I'm so sorry. Please don't be upset with yourself for making the choice to visit your friend. We can only live our lives day-to-day and make the choices we think are best at the time. I know that things happen for a reason, but it doesn't make them any easier. That little angel wants you to be happy.

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  5. Robin, I think choice are all we have as humans. Dogs really don't have them; cats either, and so on. I really do believe we do things the best we can. You did such a nice thing for your friend and you couldn't know what could happen. I'm sorry for this terrible loss. I hope someday you will find comfort with her.

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