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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

My Special Place

Day Two: Teachers Write!

Hosted by: Kate Messner at katemessner.com
and Jen & Kellee at Teach Mentor Texts
and Gae Polisner at ghpolisner.blogspot.com

The task today was to complete a two-minute quick write about a place.  Then, write again, specifically thinking about what can be seen, heard, smelled, felt in this place.  Next, go there, look at a picture or imagine being in the place.  Finally, use those reflections to rewrite the original quick write piece using the sensory details that were noticed to make it better.

My Quick Write:
The trees are blowing in the breeze.  The leaves look like green butterfly wings fluttering against the sky.  The light is sparkling on the lake.  The wet sand calls to me, drenches me in the fresh water smells.  The bonfire blows it's smoke into the sky as it crackles in the fire pit.  There are burgers cooking on the fire and happy people gathered around, supervising the cooking process.  There is peace and quiet.  It's a reflection space.  A place for harmony.  A place straight out of a song...  "I get a peaceful, easy feeling..."

The Sensory Details From My List:

See - green: grass, trees, leaves, flowers, plants, seaweed, cattails
         blue: water, sky, birds, house
         white: puffy clouds
         red: bonfire, sunset over the lake, lawn chairs
         yellow: sparkles of light on the water, sunshine, my lounge chair

Hear - wind, birds, turkeys, ducks, loon, water, leaves, splashes, talking, gravel under  
            tires, crackle of the fire, piano, baseball game on the radio, country music  
           drifting from the garage, shake of the corn can, laughing, kids playing in the 

Smell - bonfire smoke, cooking food, seaweed/wet/water, fresh/clean air

Feel - relaxed, peaceful, joyful, calm, have lots of time, connected, entertained, slow,
          refreshed, easy going, hopeful, cozy, happy

Rewrite with Sensory Details:

The Dock

I lay on the dock and close my eyes.
There are so many things to see -
where to look first?
So instead I listen.
To the birds.  To the water tickling the shoreline. 
To the happy laughter.
The smell of burgers cooking over the bonfire drifts to me, opens my eyes.
I see above me the green leaves fluttering against the sky like butterfly wings.
I feel myself relax.  The every day is gone -
replaced by the easy going, peaceful joy.
The water sparkles before me, soothing me like a lullaby.
As I watch the sun set slowly in the sky, reflections spread out in the water,
I sit and connect...to the beauty of nature around me.  To the calm of the wild.
I hear the voice inside me
     or outside me, all around me
"It just doesn't get any better than this!"
And the voice is right.

As a child my family had a "cottage," which was really a house, on a small lake in the woods in the middle of nowhere.  At least, that's the way I saw it then.  Then, I used to wonder what I would do to avoid the boredom that was sure to visit.  Now, I long for the feel of that place.  The coziness, the peacefulness and the tranquility that comes from sitting elbow to elbow in the darkness staring into a crackling bonfire.  Solving the world's problems, sharing stories and jokes, and enjoying the company family and friends.  I miss the getting away.  I miss the quiet of that special place.


  1. Nothing like a special place and those memories. I love how you recaptured the feelings of this place. And yes, it is something how as kids we despair it and as adults we long for it.

  2. "The every day is gone." I too love how you conveyed this place, a cozy peaceful dwelling. I could hear the "water tickling the shoreline," and long for that sound too. Beautiful poem.

  3. I really liked these two images:
    "The smell of burgers cooking over the bonfire drifts to me, opens my eyes." (I could smell that and see how it would open your eyes)
    "I see above me the green leaves fluttering against the sky like butterfly wings." (I can picture lying and looking up and seeing the leaves fluttering down toward me)

  4. I love all the parts you included like the water tickling the shoreline and the burgers over the bonfire. Nice description, & it is peaceful!

  5. "I sit and connect...to the calm of the wild." I don't usually see the words wild and calm together but I really felt what you said in that sentence.