If I had known...

If I had known it would be your last visit

If I had known I wouldn’t see your sweet face again

I would have…

Not made other plans.

If I had known it would be your last phone call

If I had known how quick life can change

I would have…

Not rolled my eyes at your ring.

If I had known it would be my last chance

If I had known you were leaving soon

I would have…

Not been so afraid of the hospital.

If I had known it was your last Christmas

If I had known your time was short

I would have…

Stayed with you longer.

If I had known it was the last night

If I had known it was coming so fast

I would have…

Never left your side.

If I had known…

I've noticed that the older I get, the more I think about the people I've lost in my life.  Those who have been so important to me in one way or another but who are no longer here.  This is a little bit of several people and what I would have...wish I had...done.

 Poetry Friday is hosted by Michelle at Today's Little Ditty

Themes It's Popping Up Everywhere!

Tuesday's Slice of Life stories are hosted by Ruth and Stacey at their blog Two Writing Teachers.  Head over to their blog to read more great slice of life stories and even add your own!



I'm reading Wonder by R.J. Palacio right now.  I took my children to the library on Saturday morning and began reading it that afternoon.  I could not put it down all weekend.  That being said, I still haven't finished it.  (Here is where I give the excuse of having four small children...reading time is hard to come by during the daytime hours!)  But, possibly because can't spend the time I'd like to really devour the book, I have had time to reflect on my reading as I go.

It seems to follow the overarching themes that have been floating around me during the last two weeks.  I have been running into the ideas of making a difference, standing up for what you believe in, standing up for others and choosing kindness.

I see it in the book: the children who become friends with Auggie and choose kindness, they stand up for each other, and they make a difference in each other's lives. 

I see it in my classroom: making an extra effort to connect with a child and make a difference in the way they see themselves in school, as a student and as a learner.

I see it in my colleagues: standing up for the type of professional development that will be helpful and not hurtful to their team, thinking about relationships and the dynamics of teamwork and collaboration.

I see it in my mentor: teaching others by showing them their gifts and using those gifts to benefit the whole, encouraging people by meeting them where they are, validating them and then giving them a nudge to soar on their own, fostering independence, and leading by example.

I see it on the signs I drive past: "To belittle is to be little."

I see it in my own writing: read this post and this post for more.

Then again today, as I settle in with Wonder for a few minutes this evening, I see it again.  Only this time, it has an additional message attached.  Auggie said it well: "I do know what I'm really known for.  But there's nothing I can do about that.  A Star Wars duffel bag I could do something about."

Sometimes things happen and we can't do anything about it.  BUT...sometimes we can.  Don't complain about what you cannot change but take charge of what you can change.  Never be little - never belittle.  Take a stand where you can.  Make a difference.  Choose kindness. 

Choices

Slice of Life Challenge - Day 13 - hosted by Two Writing Teachers

We all make decisions in life.  We make our choices based on a variety of things.  Sometimes they are easy and sometimes they are not.  Sometimes they are insignificant, such as what color of socks to wear, but sometimes they are life-changing.  Sometimes our choices mean that we miss out on something important.

I made the choice to go to visit a close friend instead of spending the weekend at home.  I chose to travel to her new house and spend some time in her new world.  I chose to miss out on spending time with my own family.  It wasn’t an easy choice, but I chose based on the fact that I thought there would be many more weekends to enjoy my family and not as many times to visit my who now lived two hours away from me.

It’s a choice I will forever regret.  Not because I didn’t have a nice visit with my friend, but because I missed out on something much bigger.  Of course, as often happens, I could never have known what would happen.  I could never have anticipated that I’d never see her chubby little cheeks alive again.

You never imagine that a precious young girl, a baby really, at two years old, will be taken from your life.  You never dream that making a simple choice will mean a huge regret to shoulder forever.  As a young twenty-something, death is for old people, drug addicts and people you don’t know.  It’s not for spunky young girls with big blue eyes and a smile that could wrap you around her finger in mere seconds.

No, it’s not fair.  It’s not fair that I missed her last days.  It’s not fair that the car crossed the center line.  It’s not fair that her brothers lost their baby sister.  It’s not fair that I lost my beautiful niece.  It’s not fair that my sister lost her baby girl.  Sometimes life is not fair.

People say everything happens for a reason.  I have said it.  Most days I believe it.  Life has shown me enough by now to believe it.  I choose to believe that the reason she is gone is a big, important one.  I choose to believe that God had a very important job and needed a special helper to carry it out.  What other reason could there be?  There is no other reason that brings me comfort like that one, so I choose it.  I make the decision to believe that God needed a very special angel and someday I will understand why...but I don't have to like it.