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Friday, March 7, 2025

I'm caught somewhere in between impressed and deeply concerned...

 After receiving an email from a parent last night, I had a chat with a student today.


Me: Mom said your reading folder has been in your backpack all week empty and you told her you didn't have any books at school that you could bring home. They are lost and you aren't allowed to get more. Is that right?

Child: No, they aren't lost. They aren't at my house. I just don't have any books.

Me: You picked out 5 books to read. Where did they go? Are they in your folder? In your desk? In your backpack?

Child: No, I don't have any books.

Me: Mom told me your reading folder has been in your backpack all week but you have been telling me each day that you didn't have your folder and that you forgot it at home.

Child: No, I told you I didn't have my backpack.

Me: Ok, it seems like you aren't being honest. You are telling me one thing and your mom something different. I'm going to let you think about it for a minute and then I'm going to ask you again. Even if you think I'm not going to like the truth, I really need you to be honest and tell me what is going on. I can't help you if you aren't honest. 

Child: [30 seconds later] Ok. I know what happened now.

Me: Ok, please be honest and tell me what happened. 

Child: Well, I told you I didn't have my backpack, because then you would think I didn't have my folder, and if I didn't have my folder, then I wouldn't have to take home books to read. I told my mom I didn't have any books to bring home, because I don't want to read at home. I don't WANT to read at home!

Me: So, you really had your folder and your books the whole time? 

Child: Yes. I don't want to read at home. 

Me: Do you know why we practice reading at school and at home?

Child: No. I don't like it.

Me: Do you want to go to second grade?

Child: Yes!

Me: You see, in order to go to second grade, you have to be able to do the first grade stuff and that means you have to be able to read the first grade books and do the first grade math and do the first grade writing. If you never practice those things, then you don't get good at them. So, if you want to be able to go to second grade, you have to read the first grade books so that you will be ready to read when you get to second grade because they have really cool books, like longer chapter books, neat nonfiction books, and all kinds of good stories to read. But, if you don't practice, then you won't be able to do it when it's time to go to second grade.

Child: So if I practice reading a lot then I can read when I go to college too?

Me: Yep, isn't that cool?

Child: Yes, so I better read a lot of first grade books now so I can get smarter so I can read college books. 

Me: Sounds like a plan. So, are you ready to pack your books to take home now?

Child: Yes, I want to take [digs through pile] these three books tonight.

Me: Cool, how about you go pack them up and put them in your mailbox and I'm going to send a message to mom to let her know what we talked about and that you will be bringing those 3 books home to read to her tonight.

Child: Oh. Um. Can I just surprise her tonight and show her?

Me: Sorry Charlie. I'm going to have to tell her what really happened.

Child: [gulp] Oh. I think...I'll...probably read a lot this weekend. Tell her that too, ok?



Wow! I am not sure if I should be more impressed that she pulled off a complex lie to her mom and I both that spanned a whole week before either of us figured out that something was not quite right OR if I should be more concerned that a 6 year old convincingly, bold-faced lied to me for a week straight like it was nothing?









5 comments:

  1. In my experience, first graders are great liars! I'm impressed that you and the mom worked together to solve the problem and figure it out! Looking forward to hearing about the reading marathon!

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  2. It is amazing what kids will do to get our of homework, reading, chores...but this child really did some thinking about planning to make his plan work for a while! He likely has a career as a politician or big businessperson in his future,

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  3. Hahah, oh my! I taught 10th grade for 10 years, and now I'm in my 11th year in 7th grade. I'm slightly [sadly] impressed that I've had almost the exact conversations (with a bit of nuance; lockers vs folders, for example) with 12 and 15 year olds as you with your 1st graders.
    What a delightful turn of events though - you're awesome! Love the partnership between you and mom.

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  4. It's always astonishing the amount of brainpower they can exert to get out of using that brain. :)

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  5. You handled the entire discussion with grace and monumental patience. I love that the child jumped right from the idea of needing to be a strong 1st grade reader to go to second grade…and then college, and I also loved the way you talked up the cool 2nd grade books that the child would miss out on if they could not read.

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