This is 83

It's almost my dad's 83rd birthday and for some reason it's got me right in the feels this year. I have been thinking about what he would be like as an 83 year old and it's hard to imagine. 19 birthdays we have celebrated without him and I just have so many feelings wrapped up in it this year. So...I guess, even though I hate having it this way, this is 83...

I can't believe it's been 19 years since I last saw your face

or heard your voice.

19 years since we said goodbye for the last time

and my life changed forever.

The things that have happened in those 19 years...

unreal!

We look at pictures and I tell my kids stories about you,

there are so many good ones to share.

You've missed so many milestones,

I know you would hate that.

You saw me get married to my best friend,

but you don't know we are celebrating our 24th anniversary this year.

You saw me buy my first home,

but not the second.

You saw me land my job and work 5 years,

but you don't know I've been in the same school for 24 years now.

You saw me have two babies,

but not four.

You saw my first born,

but you don't know he's a college graduate with a job interview tomorrow.

You saw my second born,

but you don't know she's an EMT, going to school to be a paramedic and living her own adult life.

You never saw my youngest two,

but I suspect you had something to do with their stubbornness...just missing the red hair, right?

I think of you often,

I always will.

I can't believe it's been 19 years since I last saw your face

or heard your voice.

19 years since we said goodbye for the last time

and my life changed forever.