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Tuesday, December 3, 2013

A Cautionary Tale

Do you have teenagers in your house?  Have you been looking for just the right thing to teach teens to choose abstinence?  I've got just the thing for you.  Tell them my story.

The Backstory:  I have four children, ages 2-10.  We were excited about a long Thanksgiving weekend together and had plans to host family for dinner, get some Christmas shopping done, enjoy some down time together as a family.

And so, it begins.

Picture it: Thursday morning, Thanksgiving.  I'm standing at the kitchen sink up to my elbows in turkey preparations.  My 8 year old daughter trudges out from her bedroom looking pale and tired. 

"I don't feel good," she says.  Those words.  Those dreaded words.

"Go lay on the couch and watch TV for a little bit.  Maybe you just woke up too early," I told her.  Lovely.  I was grasping at straws, I know this, but I was cooking for 11 people.  This wasn't really happening, right?

Within an hour, she was (sorry, too much info) throwing up.

Flu: 1    Kids: 3

Picture it: Saturday afternoon.  I'm doing a little school work on the computer in the kitchen and look up just in time to see my 2 year old daughter, who is too young to tell me she doesn't feel well, throw up.  In the chair.  The BEIGE chair.  Lovely.

Flu: 2     Kids: 2

Picture it: Sunday evening.  I'm folding laundry, preparing things for school on Monday, taking part in the general "busy-busy" of Sunday evenings.  My 10 year old son comes upstairs from vegging out in front of a video game for a bit.

"I don't feel good," he says, rubbing his stomach. 


"Here it comes," I couldn't help but think to myself.  Within an hour, he was throwing up.

Flu: 3     Kids: 1

Picture it: Monday, lunchtime.  I'm home from school with my son, letting him rest, and I think to myself (maybe my first mistake), "At least I haven't heard from the school today!"

Within an hour, my phone rings.  I glance at the caller id.  "School" it says.  Deep breath.

"Hello?"  (Oh, please don't let the 5 year old be sick!!!)

"I have your daughter in the office.  She just got sick in the classroom."

Lovely.  Another one bites the dust.

Flu: 4     Kids: 0

If you lost track...let me recap.

5 days.
4 vomiting children.


Go away flu bug!

Please share this cautionary tale with those teens who need a good reminder.  Cleaning up vomit is no fun, especially when multiplied by 4.  I can't think of a better form of birth control, especially for people who don't handle vomit well.  (MEEEEE!!!!!) 

I know, that teenager you talk to will probably say, "That won't happen to me."

Yes, it will.  Some time, some day, it will come for you too.


  1. YUCK! EEW! GROSS! So right there with you! Hope everyone is on the road to recovery! And you aren't throwing up!

  2. Ha, ha... so funny... "Maybe you got up too early!" That's something I would say. Your story made me smile.

  3. Oh my stomach hurts just reading this. Kind of like when you talk about lice...your head itches! I don't handle that well either. Thankfully my husband always had that duty!

  4. Oh no :( The Flu versus Kids countdown was priceless.

  5. I'm with Kim, loved the score card flu vs kids! What a horrible, awful, no good, very bad few days. I can't believe the adults stayed healthy in this germ factory, or will that be part 2 next week? Hope the kids are better now.

  6. Argh-the worst lines, "I don't feel well!" So sorry Robin, and so funny that you've turned this into a birth control message. I would hope they would listen… Love the way you created the post, even the title had me wondering what you were going to say!